Saturday, 7 May 2016

A Bad Day

I try to live a life in which my mental health doesn't define me, but sometimes with anxiety that is not the case and today is just one of those bad days. 

I love who i am, i love the beautiful people i have surrounding me and i love the earth. Sometimes though, my brain cannot deal with it; and whether that means being physically unable to leave the house, or sleeping all day, i just have to give in. That's the thing with my anxiety, it's paralysing and random, and that can be hard.

I'm learning that it's okay to have a bad day, in fact its normal to have a bad day.

I think it's important to share this part of my life, whether 1 or 100 people read this post. I don't plan to portray a perfect fulfilling life because its not the truth, and i doubt its the truth for anyone. I have days where i'm terrified of getting out of bed, not knowing whether i'll have a panic attack or breakdown. Equally i have days when i leap out of bed ready to face the day in all its glory. Wanting to be in control when you live with anxiety is just not possible.

I'd love it if i had a off switch, that said something like "mauricia, you're being silly" but often i don't know if i'm being stupid and irrational, and worst of all when i do know i still can't shut it off. Sometimes i imagine my brain and body fighting against each other, like "oh, i know you REALLY wanted to do that thing today, but actually..... nah." 

Accepting that some days you can't do things is tough, it really is. The reality is missing out on college, work, friends birthdays, more college and important events. The reality is, yoga, meditation, walks and things that used to make me feel so happy have now become things that cause a pit of anxiety in my stomach. 

I'm learning to get through every day, and it really is a case of getting through each day. I don't know how i'll cope at uni, and i don't know how i'll cope next week, but i'm not worried. I'll find a way.






(LONDON AND THE V&A)

Mauricia Xxx

Business Enquiries: mauriciastoneenquiries@gmail.com


2 comments:

  1. It's ok we all have bad days - mental health sucks especially anxiety and depression (been there, done that, still climbing my way back up into society). Stick to blogging and when you can't go out devote your time to your blog and reaching out on social media to talk to your fashion and beauty peers who will often cheer you up!

    If you ever need me I'm here!

    Zoe - aka The Beautiful Stylist (@beautstylist

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  2. My name is Lydia Bender from USA My boyfriend and I were happy as far as I could tell and I never thought that we would break up. When his cousin died in a tragic car accident he went back to Philippine for a week to be with his family. I could not go because I was in the middle of entertaining out of town clients for work. He did not seem to be upset that I could not go so I let him be. The next thing that I know, he reconnected with an old friend from high school that he had a crush on years ago and they started to have an affair! I had no clue what was going on until a month after he came back from Philippine.He proceeded to see both her and I until I caught him testing her one night. I confronted him and he told me the truth about what happened. We broke up and went our separate ways. Neither of us fought for our relationship. I was angry and decided not to be upset about it and just keep it moving. Then after about a month of not speaking to him I became sad. I wanted him to tell me that he wanted to be with me and not her. I contacted Dr .AKHERE for a love spell and he totally helped me! he was able to get him to miss me to where he wanted to get back together again. He had a lot of regrets and felt bad for not fighting to keep me and for cheating in general. He values our relationship so much more now and we are together now! You can also get your lover back with the help of Dr Akhere contact him through his email:

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